Jeff Bezos Blows Up The Moon

Dear Earthling,

We hope this urgent space-message finds you well.

This Saturday, July 17th, 2021 at 9:00pm SpaceTime, Jeff Bezos’ planned demolition of the Moon will commence. You have been selected to celebrate with us.

As you know, the Moon's coordinates are: 245 Eldridge St, Apartment 5F. The event will be followed shortly thereafter by the opening of Space’s first Whole Foods.

See you soon.